The Fair Path
Have
you ever been alone in a crowd before?
More
precisely, I should ask, have you ever felt
alone in a crowd? A buzz all around that somehow goes past or around you, never
quite sinking in. Smiles, conversations, jokes, eye contact – that never reach
you. You feel invisible at best – shunned at worst.
You
may want to run, but there is nowhere to go.
You
must move away from this uncomfortable state. There must be a change.
There
are two possible roads ahead.
You
feel like a boulder rolling down a hill when you come to a fork. All the
difference is ahead.
One
path is within. The other path is without.
One
option is to move outwards. To reach out. To force the situation. To attempt to
becoming a part of without the need for an invitation. To take a risk. Stepping
out from oneself. To extend a hand, an opinion, a thought – with the knowledge
that it may be turned away from, shunned, unwanted, rejected. To take the risk
of being a fool, a busy body, obnoxious. The geek trying to break into the click.
To expand the bubble around yourself to include others. To open up and be
vulnerable. To risk appearing stupid or a social misfit. Trying to gain
friendship at the possible consequence of garnering distain.
The
reward for this path is you may become part of the buzz. One with the crowd.
Known and no longer invisible.
The
possible downside is that you are no longer invisible and now all your flaws
and awkwardness is out in the open for all to see. Perhaps you don’t fit in and
never will. Perhaps being invisible is the best you can do, the most you can
hope for.
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out
and remove all doubt." – Abraham Lincoln.
Then
there is the other path. The other direction. Instead of turning outwards in
the hope of a connection, you can go inwards. Turning away from the trappings
of the outside world. Moving toward self. To focus your attention to what’s
inside. Your feelings and thoughts. To delve into your beliefs and emotions, to
circle downwards deep into your personal cave. Trying to find you center and what makes
you tick. What makes you unique. Searching for love of self and a deep inner
respect. To find that place of knowing, that space of oneness. To seek the
stillness, to explore through meditation.
The
reward for this path, this direction, is pure radiance of being. Knowing that
nothing can really hurt your pure essence. You are all. You will find that
needs are merely flights of fantasy that we create out of the nothingness of
fear. All is within and all is love.
The
downside of this path is that sometimes when we go within we can spiral down
and around until it becomes a narcissistic exercise. Self-worth somehow turns
into self-importance. "We are one" becomes we are the one.
Sometimes
seeing the beauty, weakness, and perfection in another is also the quickest way
to seeing it within. Yes, somehow seeing the weakness in ourselves and in
others becomes important. For it is only when we can see and come to terms with
weakness and realize that they are just blocks, barriers to cover perfection.
All weaknesses melt away in the light of true examination. Many times this is
easier to see in others than in ourselves. Deep secrets become antidotes when
the weight of darkness is lifted off.
Many
times it is easier to move beyond judgment toward another than it is to do the same for
ourselves.
So in
the end I believe it’s the contemplative blend of reflective searching within
and the reaching out, and shining out of our light towards the outside world in
the hopes of connection that is our most beneficial and should be our ultimate
goal.
Understanding
ourselves and understanding others is a chicken or egg type of scenario.
Instead
of asking which came, or should come, first – perhaps the real road to
enlightenment comes from the realization that one cannot survive without the
other. For if all is truly one… then there is no difference.
Sincerely signing off,
ò im
Uhr
P.S.
Again I am always playing the middleman. Walking the fence. Looking for that
middle path. I usually end up in the ditch of the embankment that separates the
two paths…
