Bogus Lies (and) Ordinary Greatness
I started, what I call, articlulate writing years and years ago. Some of it was free associate writing, automatic writing, or what ever you chose to call it. It was, and still is, a fun outlet for me. Some of it, no one has ever read before. A lot of it .... maybe nobody should...
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
S A V I N G A B R E A K
I once wrote an article that was really magnanimous. Well, actually that is only a half-truth. I once had an idea for an article that would have been great to write down. But I didn't happen to have a pen handy at the time, so I forgot about it. So bare along with the bad articles, hopefully I will get lucky again. And don't totally dismiss that possibility! They say it happens in threes, and I figure that’s probably what it would take that for you to be able to see a good article by me in the future. With nothing else on my mind at the moment (which someone once told me was very common with me, but I don't know if it's true… I try not to think about it), I may as well trace the lucky breaks needed for a good article to appear on these pages.
The first lucky break is for me to come up with a good thought, a good concept for an article. Now that may sound like a miracle, but without getting biblical on you, lets just say that God moves in mysterious ways. The original thought or concept is, naturally, the first step that must take place for any good piece of writing. For me this lucky break has already taken place, but it just so happened that I didn't get another lucky break along with it, like having a pen near by at that brief moment of impossibility, so I could write it down. So the two lucky breaks for any good article to be able to come about are 1) The thought, and 2) To have pen in hand.
Since everyone has three lucky breaks to a lifetime and I have used one up, I still have two left. So at some unforeseeable date I just may come up with a good article. Chances might be quite good! – Although I don't usually like to bring chance into these scientific matters.
But wait a minute! Even though I still have two lucky breaks left and there are only two to choose from it doesn't necessarily mean that they will both come at the same fraction of second in time (my attention span). And who is to say that, even though there are only two breaks to choose from and that I have two left, they will be one of each of the possibilities? Why couldn't it happen to be two of the same? It doesn't seem possible that my brain could come up with two more significant thoughts in my lifetime, but if it did it would use up my last two lucky breaks without anyone else witnessing the tremendous feat by way of an unqualified article coming about.
Wait another minute! On second thought (not a significant one), I have already used my lucky breaks up. Remember, lucky break number two is to have a pen in hand. I have had a pen in hand many times!... To think that I wasted all those lucky breaks by having a pen in hand when I didn't have any significant thoughts at the time, like now, so that I could write down something half intelligent. Why can't I get two lucky breaks at once? That still might not help, I don't see what good it would do to have two pens at once…
What is wrong with me? God was good enough to surpass my lucky break quota past the usual three, and I wasted possibly all I will ever get on the pen in hand lucky break. Talk about dopes!
Come to think of it, maybe if I wasn't such a dummy I wouldn't have had all the extra lucky breaks, because, after all, they say God is merciful to those less fortunate (a nice term for dummies). So possibly it would be unwise for me to get a significant thought because that might take me right out of God's less fortunate category and blow any more extra lucky breaks that God has lined up for me. So remember, even though the writing may not be that good, at least it does fill the pages. If I started getting good, then the lucky breaks would end and I would stop writing. That may sound favorable, but just think of the damage I might do if I didn't spend all most all my time sitting at a desk, writing.
Things usually work out for the best.
Thinking (insignificantly) of you,
P.S: I haven't been able to find
my pen for a while now,
so I'm writing this p.s.
in blood . . .
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
E A T L I G H T
"Let there be light!"
I switched on the light. The room glowed with a white warmth as my eyes adjusted to the sudden brilliance, that nearly matched the glow in my heart.
But what is light? Oh, sure it travels at approximately 299,793 kilometers per second, but what is this speedy thing we call light? Is it glass, from the bulbs that glow with light? No, a glass bulb alone doesn't do the trick, it has to be in a socket and turned on so that electricity flows through it. Then light is electricity! No, you can have light without electricity, just look at the sun, or light a match. Fire needs no electricity, yet gives off light. But what do a light bulb, fire and the sun all have in common? Heat! So heat is light. But is it really? Human flesh is warm, but is it light. It must take a certain minimum temperature for objects to radiate with light. But does it radiate or come in waves? It was long believed to be waves, as an electromagnetic disturbance, propagated through the electromagnetic field. But Einstein came along and theorized that light is not waves of varying lengths but photons of varying energies. Each theory has its advantages and drawbacks. Most likely it is some unforeseen combination of the two. We would not be too far off to say that light radiates out from its source whether it's in the form of waves or photons.
The sun radiates. Light bulbs radiate. Fire radiates.
Yes, radiation fills the air. Heat is a form of radiation. Light is a form of radiation. Energy is emitted by waves or particles by all these sources.
We breathe the air. Cattle and fish breathe air into their systems, which filters into their veins, which supplies nutrition to the muscles and the body. We eat the meat of these animals.
We breathe radiation, we eat radiation, and we live in radiation.
So? Radiation is a fact of life, what can we do about it?
I have previously mentioned the need for a campaign to stop breathing. "How?" I just heard you ask. "We'll die,” you say. Just read my past article "Bad Breath" for the clear-cut facts on the unnessecities of breathing. You will see, through a simple test, how ridiculous you have been all these years.
O.K., now you know it's possible to go without breathing. But you want to know why. Radiation is why. The radiation in the air is the reason you grow old. I also believe that this radiation, though some call it "mild", is deforming our children little by little. Radiation, any scientist will tell you, is what, most likely is the cause of evolution. But this evolution is not what they think. It is the reverse of what they are saying! De-evolution is being proven as I speak. Ask anyone if the generation that follows his is up to the old generation’s standards. We did not descend from monkeys but are descending to them. Did you see the classic "Planet of the Apes" for a look into the future? Do you listen to DEVO records all day? Then you, my friend, also know of the vast dangers of this dreadful radiation that is ruining all out lives. We shouldn't just rid ourselves of the Nuke plants but also the plants that are making oxygen, which are carriers of this dreadful radiation. It’s like being on a diet in a candy store. It's hard to keep from breathing when there is so much air all around. Just as we say smoking is bad for us yet the advertising still runs rampant and they are more available than vitamins. Let's get rid of the things around us that are harmful and tempting. Ban cigarettes, chocolate, booze and plants!
Some hard facts:
Did you know that five out of every seven mental retardation cases are caused by radiation?
Two or three hours of exposure to the sun can slow the process by which the eyes adapt to the dark by several hours. And two or three hours of lying on a sunny beach without protecting your eyes can temporarily reduce night vision by 50%. I bet this has something to do with radiation.
Radiation exposure can lead to cyclostomatous.
A radio signal could reach from Moscow to New York in less time than it takes a mothers voice to reach her children playing in the back yard, 40 feet away. Radio signal sound like it has something to do with radiation, so they probably move at comparable speeds. Do you want radiation reaching your kids before you do!?
Ninety-nine out of everyone hundred people who have worn underwear in the last four years will die a radiation related death.
Radiation will kill more people this year than last year.
These are just some of the hard to find facts of a radiation soaked society. Believe me, I could give you a list like this, right off the top of my head, all day long.
Death is common. No one as of yet has escaped it. What do all these people that have been dying have in common? They all breathe, or have, at one time in their life, taken, knowingly, a breath. See where breathing gets you? Breathing is for the dead.
I know that even though you have read my historic article "Bad Breath" and know that breathing is just a bad habit and can be stopped, you still say, "Well, I have to eat!" Because you know that all animals of earth are infected with this radiation from their breathing habits. Yes, animals are stupid enough to breath, they lack the reasoning power that human’s have at our disposal. But how can you expect any other animals to be smart enough to refrain from breathing when, up until now, man hasn't been smart enough to stop, and man is the smartest animal of all? Unless you count whales because they’re pretty smart – probably smarter than man. And unless you count dolphins, and dogs and ameba, we are at the top of the list for smartest creatures – at least on this planet.
How can you stop? What does it take to break some of these fifty habits?
Stopping breathing is easily, and I already covered that in an earlier article. “Bad Breath” makes clear the unnecessities of breathing and how to stop. To quickly summarize –– just don’t think about it.
But how about eating?
Don't eat. Wouldn't you rather die a simple starvation death or wait around a while to die an agony filled radiation death?
It’s a well-known fact (I know it very well) that quitting smoking is harder than quitting eating.
But, knowing that many of you out there are die-hard traditionalists, I have another solution. Eat fish and drink only distilled water. Fish is relatively safe from radiation. The air that fish breath is filtered by the water and has only l/l00th the radiation levels of the air and the animals above the surface. But please don't drink this water with the radiation filtered into it, drink distilled water.
One quick note about not breathing, make sure you have a strong heart. Many people already have tried to stop breathing and in their panic and stubborn refusal to give up outdated and disprovable beliefs they have suffered heart attacks. It works, but only if you believe with all your heart. Amen.
So, if you insist on eating, make sure it's fish. And if you still insist on breathing, make sure it's under water so that the air is filtered.
P.S: Some more helpful hints on the cautions of
1. Wash all fish with distilled water after bring
2. Don't let wines breathe before drinking.
3. Don't let yourself slip back into the breathing
4.Teach your children to stop breathing at a young
age, so they won’t grow up all soggy from the
5. If the doctor slaps your newborn to bring about her
first breath – slap him right back!
6. Remember to forget breathing every day.
7. Any sexual excursions should be done with nose
plugs and your mouth closed tight.
8. Tape the first 7 helpful hints to your forehead
so that people can remind you of them throughout